I heard an anecdote about someone’s experience while in college. One of their classmates, who is into Buddhism, went into class wearing monk robes. It definitely stood out because in their country, Buddhism isn’t commonly practiced. They pondered about the purpose of wearing the robes in a place where it is not the norm. What do they want to accomplish by standing out?
Epictetus, in his letter On the Philosopher’s Mean, writes about this exact thing.
I warn you, however, not to act after the fashion of those who desire to be conspicuous rather than to improve, by doing things which will rouse comment as regards your dress or general way of living.
But, you may ask, what if that person is just trying to deepen their faith or practice by wearing the traditional clothes of its practitioners? In which case Seneca said:
And what would happen if we should begin to separate ourselves from the customs of our fellow-men? Inwardly, we ought to be different in all respects, but our exterior should conform to society.
Even though the intent is good and noble, which is to be a good example and influence to others, the result could be the opposite. If you want to be listened to, or influence people, you need to be someone they can recognize and identify with.
Sympatheia
The reason why it is important for us to conform to society externally is that this is the essence of philosophy:
The first thing which philosophy undertakes to give is fellow-feeling with all men; in other words, sympathy and sociability. We part company with our promise if we are unlike other men.
In Stoicism, there is a concept called Sympatheia which shows that all of us are interconnected and have affinity for each other. We have a natural affinity for our family and our friends, as they are the ones closest to us. But this concept goes beyond our personal circle. It acually involves all people. As all of us have a divine logos, we are thus naturally linked to each other.
Philosophy is intended to improve humanity, to answer our deepest and hardest questions in life. That can only be accomplished if you are part of that humanity. Your area of influence should come from the inside, not outside of the group.
Philosopher’s Mean
Living according to Nature, Seneca writes, is a happy medium between the ways of the wise man and the ways of the world at large. This is the Philosopher’s Mean.
We do not need to go into extremes in order to show our virtue (or lack thereof). Being able to live peacefully in times of need and times of plenty is something that we should all aspire. Being rich isn’t a sign of greed in and of itself, just as being poor isn’t a sign of being virtuous.
It is the sign of an unstable mind not to be able to endure riches.
We aim to be happy and content within the Philosopher’s Mean. Lacking possessions should not make us miserable and envious. In the same vein, we should also not be attached to our possessions, clinging to them or treating them like glass goblets. What is within us is the important thing, and not what is around us.
If they visit us at home, they should admire us, rather than our household appointments. He is a great man who uses earthenware dishes as if they were silver; but he is equally great who uses silver as it it were earthen ware.
The best way to shine our light in the world is not through our clothes, our possessions, or the things around us. This light comes from within, and so can only be seen through our actions and deeds.
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